Not all of our decisions or circumstances are going to add up to the life we seek. Obstacles can either paralyze our efforts or become our greatest lessons and allies as we stretch ourselves to adapt or change course.
Within the most difficult challenges, there is a definite crossroads where we decide whether to meet the pain head-on and become more patient, selfless, and pliable or to walk away; to take a different road and let go of all we had invested, set new terms, and claim a new beginning.
Unfortunately, we aren’t able to see around the bends in either road we could take. There is no predicting which choice will lead us closer to peace and happiness.
Three curious questions might help create the clarity needed to make a confident decision and leave the crossroads in your past, for better or worse:
1. If you approach this decision as a stranger, without all of your own history, looking solely at the choices you have now and considering only what is possible going forward, which road do you choose?
2. What is the worst possible realistic outcome of each option? If you stick with your current route and adapt, assuming that the problem will not become any easier, what will you likely give up? If you change directions, what will you actually lose in exchange for what you will confidently gain?
3. Channeling love for yourself, completely unburdened by any regrets, self-doubt, or anger, what do you choose for yourself? Considering each other person whose life will be changed by your decision, ask the same question.
Some answers will be in conflict.
Perhaps you would honestly choose a different road for a loved one than you would choose for yourself. Perhaps both options could be worthwhile and you simply need to make a choice, knowing that opportunities for change are ever present.
Ultimately, we can’t linger at the crossroads forever, numb with indecision. Regardless of what we discover around the bend, we will have chosen the path. In that, we become authors of the journey, rather than victims of circumstance.