Ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong and you really wish you hadn’t gotten out of bed?
Good, we’re all still alive and on this roller coaster called life together.
The past few months have been a whirlwind of activity as we launched the Rockstar Comeback community on the ground here in SLC with the Rockstar Summer Experience Series.
And through it all, I’ve run up against some serious set-backs, disappointments, and regular old unwanted drama.
Those nasty moments can be really devastating.
Sometimes we really just need to get back into bed, load up a feel good movie on Netflix, and try again tomorrow.
But other times, if we let ourselves get overwhelmed and give-up, we miss out on major opportunities or get stuck in the doldrums for longer than necessary as we slip into a negative mindset and spiral back down to rock bottom.
A few of my recent challenges could have gone that route.
Last week, as my team was gearing up for our third experience, the long-awaited Mountain Skeet Shoot on Saturday, I got an email from a news outlet looking to cover the event.
I tamped down the excitement (chickens need to hatch and all) and then we got on the phone with the reporter to confirm the details on Thursday.
That’s when we found out that the live segments had to take place early on Saturday morning, not during the actual event at 11 AM.
A handful of calls were placed to our guy up at the Heber Valley Trap & Skeet Club, but this is an all-volunteer group of retired folks who like to shoot clay pigeons, not the most likely group of people to monitor their cell phones every minute of the day and jump on an opportunity to be on tv.
After I harassed the man to the maximum polite level, I crossed my fingers that he would call back and open up early for us, as it was critical that the segments included the actual featured activity of trap/skeet shooting.
The calls were never returned.
By 10 AM on Friday, I entered into a state of depressed acceptance that the interview just wasn’t going to work out. I couldn’t get ahold of anyone who had any authority to open the range and facilitate live shots.
It was such an amazing opportunity to get media coverage this early on in our launch and I had gone from a walking-on-cloud-9 high on Thursday morning, to massively disappointed on Friday.
I did a little yoga on my front porch in the sunshine (mostly corpse pose given my mood). By noon, I was ready to reframe.
The self-talk shifted from “There’s nothing more I can do. It’s just not going to happen.” to “Pllllease! Quit whining. I’ve got this. I’ve whipped out miracles bigger than this one before. This IS going to happen. And I am going to make it so.”
And I did.
I called every gun range in the valley that offered trap and/or skeet shooting. I even shot off an email to the President of the Utah Trap Shooting Association, who promptly called, emailed AND texted back.
By 1:30 PM, I had two options and confirmed the 6:45 AM interview at Wasatch Wing & Clay, where the manager had been down to open up at the crack of dawn and host a wild group of women and a television crew for a little trap shooting.
If I hadn’t rallied, if I hadn’t reframed and put everything I had into making my goal a reality…
First, the interview would have been cancelled and we would have missed a great opportunity to share the Rockstar Comeback message.
Second, I would have remained depressed, and all of my participants in the actual event the next day would have felt that vibe.
Third, I would have reinforced that victim mentality that had been playing out in my head. That erroneous idea that I didn’t have control.
Even if no one had called me back and the interview had been cancelled anyway, it was critical for me to take action and reframe my mindset.
How do you reframe?
I like to think of reframing in a literal sense, like taking a photo out of an ugly, dusty, broken frame and sticking it in a clean, white, natural wood frame with beautiful hand-carved accents.
The picture looks a lot different and begs the viewer to think about whatever they are seeing from a positive light.
From a fancy pants perspective, cognitive reframing is a proven psychological technique that involves identifying and then disputing irrational or negative thoughts.
It’s one of the most powerful coping skills for life, and it starts to come naturally with practice.
It’s a winner’s mindset.
Never give up. Never give in. Go after that dream, no matter how unrealistic, unlikely, or impossible others think it is.
This is how people change the world.
Because without that fearless, resilient mindset, there’s simply no way we wouldn’t go back to the easy status quo when we face the tremendous challenges ahead of us.
Certainly we could try to limit the challenges we face by living within our comfort zones, but they are going to come for us regardless.
Loss is inevitable. Heartbreak will happen. Pain is right around the corner.
We are always in the driver’s seat when it comes to our response to those potholes that leave our vehicle stranded on the way to our goals. Remember, you’ve got a bike in the back.