I’ve been through the ringer these past few months. We’ve all been there or will at some point. The ugly rock bottom.
For me it was an assault, a wrongful arrest and a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis – all in less than 6 months.
Rock bottom blows. It’s the stuff of nightmares that you couldn’t have even contemplated before the shit hit the fan. And it’s especially difficult to accept life’s little curveballs when they are thrown at you by someone you loved.
After 30 years of a lawyer-free life, I hit a point last Fall where I had FOUR different attorneys working various cases. I was juggling a divorce, criminal defense over a wrongful arrest, contract enforcement, and a lingering tenant eviction case along with my business, kids, and, of course the all consuming rage that comes with being stabbed in the back so undeservedly.
But here and there, the light shone through and forced me to accept that karma would take care of revenge and that all I had to do was take care of myself.
I got to move into a newly constructed home with a pool that the kids loved instead of a shame-filled, dingy apartment. It was literally the only short-term rental available right away and yet was exactly what I needed.
I found the most amazing attorney on the planet who basically saved me.
And by some miracle, walking away from everything resulted in an agreement in mediation. The judge signed off on my divorce 84 days after I filed – right before Thanksgiving.
I could be hateful. Some days the hackles still go up.
But when a toxic thought strikes, it’s just so easy to remember how excited I am about reveling in my freedom, my kids, and my wide open future.
All the trips that were deemed irrational, the goals I shrugged off in favor of “priorities”, the solo time traded for way too many boring nights in…it was all mine to make happen.
Hence, my Rockstar Comeback Tour was planned (original list):
- Master the guitar (I failed guitar in high school…this should be interesting)
- Go on a scuba diving adventure
- Go solo in Puerto Rico (Scuba + Rain Forest + Beaches = yes!)
- No more debt (finally…really gonna pay off those student loans this time)
- Become an amateur photographer (aka buy a real camera and take some workshops)
- Get a hands-on intro to mixology (gonna need some celebratory beverages!)
- Take a hot air balloon up, up and away
- Take off on a foreign overseas excursion
- Get Yoga Instructor Certified (the zen tamps down the crazy)
- Snowshoe/snowmobile (might be lazy) into a no wi-fi retreat weekend
- Explore all 5 of Utah’s National Parks
- No list would be complete without a helicopter
Why a comeback?
Because in all the perfectionism and people-pleasing, I lost track of what I wanted and allowed others to take control my life (can you relate?).
I’m still reeling from the crazy turn my life took and how it’s impact continues to manifest in my day-to-day life, but waking up facing forward to the next new experience feels way better than looking back with anger, remorse, regret, and that soul-eating sadness that makes wine and chocolate into enemies.
I do need to give credit where credit is due.
Going to jail brings great clarity on who your real friends are. The genuinely good through-and-through people who will pick you up (sometimes literally outside the jail at 2 AM), take you to Maverick to pee and eat for the first time in 12 hours, and then help you laugh at it all.
Sharing my comeback is my way of paying that life-saving support they gave me forward.
So many of the people who tried to give me well-meaning advice during the past few months were still stuck in a bitter battle to the end or moping about the short end of the stick…years later.
And legitimately – they had definitely been run over. But there’s just no better time than when you’re down to stage a full scale uprising to own your life and how you’re going to feel about it.
Don’t let the toxic people and unfair curveballs win.
Thanks for being part of the journey, whether as a supportive fan or a Rockstar in your own right.